I don't put bumper sticker on my vehicles any more. It's not because I have nothing to say. It's because I don't want what I believe to be predicated upon my driving style and because I enjoy debating ideas with knowledgeable people. The limited space on a bumper sticker is the antithesis of knowledge and discussion. You have only a few words to get your point across. What you choose to imply in such a limited expression is, and almost must be, striking or polarizing.

I witnessed an interchange on my commute that illustrates the dilemma of sponsoring an idea or point of view on your vehicle. It was a Wednesday evening in front of the Hollywood Bowl. Northbound Highland Avenue dumps four lanes of anxious traffic onto three different streets. An older Toyota sedan, slathered with bumper stickers decrying government power and demanding world peace, wanted to merge right. The woman driver was becoming increasingly frustrated as she sat motionless (i.e., holding up the traffic in her lane) waiting for a break that just wasn't happening. She decided, instead, to scare cars out of her way by drifting into adjacent traffic. The driver ahead of me blipped his horn as she moved closer to him. It must have been the last straw for her. This woman rolled down the window and let loose some of the angriest language I've ever heard from a woman's mouth (my wife's excluded, of course). As she was verbally attacking this guy, I couldn't help but notice a sticker on her trunk that read, "Mean People Suck." The irony was hilarious, at least to me. I waved politely to her as I drove by and reminded her what was printed on the back of her car. She was not amused.

In L.A., natives and recent residents alike exude a smug West Coast elitism. You'll find many political or socially motivated stickers. I'll leave politics for another time, because truck bumpers in L.A. encompass all aspects of the political landscape. I'm interested today in the anti-truck and SUV sentiment expressed on too many of my So Cal neighbors bumpers and trunklids.

It seems there's no end to the jokes about truck owners making up for some personal physical deficiency. Well, bring on that stupid argument! I can state emphatically that it is BS. I extend an open invitation for anyone considering this infantile reasoning to consult with my doctor. Whoa...TMI, huh? Nonetheless, it's a stupid argument by someone more interested in showing how superior they feel than how intelligent they are.

That's the way it rolls in L.A. and Frisco. In case you live in a more sympathetic state, here's a sampling of the moronic phraseology you're likely to run across:

BIG Truck, Little Willy?
SUV: Super Unpatriotic Vehicle
There's Nothing Dumber Than a Hummer
War Is the Only Answer...For SUV Owners
You're Sitting in the Problem
Cough If You Hate SUVs

And, finally, this ponderous pearl:
My Prius Develops More Torque Than Your Pickup

What a treasure trove of thoughtful sentiments. Of course, truck owners can be a contentious and sarcastic lot. They're fighting back in kind.

Small Car, Small Mind
No, I Won't Help You Move
A SMART Car? How Stupid
I'm Changing the Climate! Ask Me How
Hummer Escape Pod (on a Scion Xb)

Granted, some are no more intellectually challenging than the anti-truck sloganeering. They don't, however, impugn anyone's physical dimensions or patriotism, only their common sense.

Bumper stickers do serve as a barometer of societal changes. They are one person's public opinion poll and nothing more significant than that. I can appreciate any clever enough to be both thoughtful and funny at the same time. There are very few of those today.